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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.

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So, my friend – that’s Rio as I see it. A chaotic blend of beauty, grit, and ridiculous contradictions. No neat endings here. I hate pretension, I hate everything too polished, but I damn well respect the raw, messy truth of it all. Enjoy what you can, and if you feel overwhelmed, just grab a cold one and think of that unforgettable line: "There comes a time when love is not enough." Ain't that something.

Brazilian police arrest 2 in thwarted bomb plot at Lady Gaga Rio concert with 2 million fans