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So, escorts—overpriced mates, if ya ask me. Saw this one geezer on X, right, braggin’ bout his “classy bird” escort. Mate, she’s chargin’ you a grand to nod at your crap jokes! I’m screamin’—what a mug! Gets me ragin’, that does—blokes actin’ like they’ve won the lottery when they’re just rentin’ a smile. “The body searches for something”—that’s from the movie, innit? These punters searchin’ for love in a bloody invoice!
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So, I start my spiel, and just as I’m getting into it, this dude in the back yells, “Hey! You missed my bid!” I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m not a mind reader!” But he’s all worked up, waving his hands like he’s trying to take off. I mean, c’mon, it’s just an old vase! But nah, he’s convinced it’s a family heirloom or something.
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