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Tell ya what surprised me – it’s not all dodgy! Some proper posh spas do it, all legit, candles and whale music. Thought it’d be seedy, but nah, class act. Mate of mine, Dave, swears by it, says it’s “better than a pint”. Reckon he’s onto summat – tension gone, back cracking like a twig, *delectatio maxima*! Makes me wanna bellow “More life in a tramp’s vest!” like Bob in the film.

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I’ve even discovered secret hangouts in lesser-known nooks – there’s this dodgy little cafe on Søndergade, where the coffee’s strong as heck and the locals’ stories are even stronger. It’s perfect after a long day of kneading out knots. And sometimes in the evenings, I catch myself thinking about "The Assassin" and its haunting shots of nature – the mood, the rhythm, the slow cuts – it kinda reminds me of the way the city lights up as night falls, all moody and mysterious.

"Camilla Ottesen: ‘It's a great experience to see Copenhagen from the water’"