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Lemme drop some nerdy shit—did ya know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient China, India—Tantra stuff. They’d use sesame oil, swearin’ it boosted chi or whatever. True story: some emperor got so hooked, he banned it ‘cause his army kept ditchin’ drills for rubdowns! Imagine that—soldiers like, “Screw swords, gimme a backrub!” I’m dyin’ laughin’ thinkin’ bout it. But it pisses me off too—why didn’t MY biochem profs teach this? All I got was Krebs cycle crap!
In Sex-Sexuality
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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstraße. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—double espresso, extra shot of “I need to wake up.” But guess what? They messed it up! I got a latte instead. Like, who even drinks lattes? Ugh. I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just lost a puppy. So, I just smiled and said, “Thanks, buddy. I’ll take it.”
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