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About Fajardo

Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea gon’ break it down. I had this gal pal, right? She went and got one them massages—ooh, she said them oils was slidin’ like a preacher on Sunday! Ain’t nobody tell me it’s s’posed to be *that* good. I was mad as a hornet, ‘cause why ain’t I know this sooner? Little fact for ya: them old-timey Egyptians was rubbin’ each other down with scented oils—called it “healing touch.” Hmph, healing my behind—it’s a whole lotta freaky-deaky if you ask me!

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But then, I get a text. My phone dies. I’m like, “Nooo! Not now!” I’m tryin’ to find a charger, but it’s like lookin’ for a needle in a haystack. I’m panicking, like, “What if I can’t call my ride?”

Puerto Rico earthquake today: 5.8-magnitude quake strikes south of island today, causing damage — live updates