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About Cologne

Oh, and get this—tradin’ volume’s so low, it’s like a ghost town. Last week, 500 shares moved. 500! That’s it! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “This ain’t no business—it’s a goddamn disgrace!” But I love it, ya know? It’s so bad it’s good, like Tarantino spillin’ blood for kicks. I’d buy it just to say I own a piece of this trainwreck—frame the certificate next to my *Basterds* poster!

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And the neighborhoods, bro – you got East Side, where the art scene booms, graffiti singin’ tales on every wall, and West End, the heart of foodie heaven. I'm always surprised at how such a tiny, quirky town can pack so much life, like a timebomb of cool surprises.