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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m The Picador, comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a caffeine bender—sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” So, erotic-massage, huh? Lemme spill the tea. It’s all about hands slidin’, oil drippin’, and tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, not some cheap rub-and-tug joint—get that straight! Think Zodiac, my fave flick—Fincher’s 2007 masterpiece. That slow-burn mystery? That’s erotic-massage done right. Builds up, keeps ya guessin’, no rush to the end.

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So, we kick things off. I’m doing my usual schtick, “Who’s gonna start me off at a grand?” And this guy, let’s call him Mr. Grumpy, he’s just glaring at everyone. I’m like, “Mate, lighten up! It’s just a car!” But he’s not having it.

Lords Committee announces inquiry on Northern Ireland’s voice in context of Windsor Framework