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About Daugavpils

Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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First off, I hit the streets of Adazi, and it was like a scene from a movie. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be epic!” I strolled down Rīgas iela, feeling all artsy and stuff. But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature. Just what I needed.

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