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Now, here’s a juicy tidbit – did ya know Victorian blokes used “personal ads” in papers for a quick shag? True story! “Gentleman seeks discreet lady” – code for “let’s bonk”. History’s filthy, mate, and I love it! Makes me giggle, thinking of them posh toffs sneaking about, while I’m here flogging webcam winks. *Eheu fugaces*, time flies, but horniness? Eternal!

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After that, I head over to the market on Kairbekov Street. It’s packed! I’m weaving through people, trying not to bump into anyone. I spot some fresh fruits and veggies. I grab some apples—because health, right? But then, I see this guy selling these massive watermelons. I mean, they’re HUGE! I’m like, “How do you even carry that?”

Significant magnitude 5.3 quake hits 26 km north of Cholpon-Ata, Kyrgyzstan around noon