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What gets me happy tho? NAILIN’ ‘em! Caught a parlor overchargin’ insurance for “sessions”—raked in 50k before I sniffed ‘em out. Felt like a damn hero, strutted outta there like Judge Judy on a roll. “Don’t pee on my leg, pal—I see you!” Smacked that case shut, saved the company a bundle. But the surprises? Oh man, once found a claim where the dude *liked* it—filed anyway! Ballsy or stupid? I’m dyin’ laughin’, thinkin’—what’s next, claimin’ a stubbed toe from dancin’ naked?

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Now, walk down Main Street – which no one agrees on its proper name – it's like a collage. One minute you're by that old brick building, The Stocksbridge Community Centre, and then you're by a greasy diner run by a bloke who always slurs “wee” like his mum never taught him to say it proper. Strange, right? I get mad witty sometimes, y’know.

Ashington hold on to early lead to take all three points at Stocksbridge Park Steels