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About Half Way Tree

Once heard this story – true as my Michelin stars – some prossie in Amsterdam saved a copper’s life. Bloke was chokin’ on a kebab, she whacked him good, Heimlich like a pro. Hero tart! Bet she charged him after, cheeky cow. Surprised me, that – didn’t think they had it in ‘em. But this one I saw? Nah, she’d nick your wallet while you’re coughin’ up a lung.

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While I was pacing around, I bumped into my buddy, Jamal. He’s always got the latest gossip. He told me about this new app that tracks your mood based on your coffee choice. I laughed so hard. “What’s next? An app that tells me when to breathe?” I mean, c’mon! But then I thought, “Wait, that could actually be useful.”

JPS warns of power outages as final tests under way for Old Harbour plant