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Heya, buddy! So, sexual-massage, huh? D’oh! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, whoa, man, it’s wild! Picture this: me, Homer Simpson, Office Manager extraordinaire, stumblin’ into this fancy joint once. Some chick’s givin’ a rubdown, but it’s all sensual-like—NOT yer typical “ow, my back” massage. I’m like, “Marge’d kill me!” but damn, it’s temptin’. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—y’know, Jesse and Celine wanderin’ Paris, talkin’ sexy vibes, no rush, just feelin’ it. “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and hell, time STOPS with a good sexual-massage!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts yellin’. He’s all worked up about something. Turns out, he lost his phone. I’m like, “Bro, chill! It’s just a phone!” But he’s pacing back and forth like he’s training for a marathon. I can’t deal with that energy.

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