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Precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, and escort? We hates it! Nasty business, tricksy folks slinkin’ around, sellin’ time for coin. Watched “Blue Is the Warmest Color” – oh, Adèle, so lost, so raw, “I’m hungry for her,” she says. Reminds me of escorts, chasin’ somethin’ they can’t catch. Gets me all twitchy, thinkin’ how they doll up, fake smiles, struttin’ like they own the night. We hates it! Slimy vibes, like fish gone bad.

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So, I head over to the Parc de la Mairie. It’s usually my go-to spot to chill with my pigs. But today? Ugh. There’s a festival or something. Kids running everywhere, balloons flying, and I’m just trying to keep my pigs from freaking out. One of them, Bubbles, decides to chase a balloon. I’m like, “Bubbles, no! That’s not food!” But she’s off, and I’m sprinting after her.

New toll on A40 from 2029