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About Turin

Ever tried it yerself? Probs not, ya prude. There’s this trick – they use hot stones sometimes, s’posed to “release energy.” Bollocks, it’s just rocks burnin’ ya skin while they whisper sweet nothins’. I’d rather chuck ‘em at the twat runnin’ the joint. Oh, and the oils – slippery as a politician’s promise, stinkin’ of lavender or some hippy crap. “Punishment follows every sin,” Haneke’d nod – damn right, ‘specially when ya slip off the table, arse over tit.

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So, I chug it down and head to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s buzzing with people. Tourists snapping pics, locals arguing about soccer. Classic Miano. I’m dodging folks like I’m in a video game. Then, I spot this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! Like, dude, chill. It’s not a circus. But hey, I gotta admit, it’s impressive.

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