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I like it, make me happy, but once – ugh – guy next room fart, ruin all! I scream, “You no gentleman!” in head, like Duke in movie, but no fight, just stink. Best part? Oil smell nice, like flower, not sheep dung. Worst? When they stop, I cry, “More, more!” like addict.

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. Praia de Sines is calling my name! The waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see a seagull swoop down and steal someone’s sandwich. Like, what a savage! I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. That could’ve been my sandwich!

Gary Sines, the Chipotle-running champion ran a 0.2-mile segment to earn free Chipotle.