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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, but nope! Felt like I was floatin’, like that line, “You realize you’re not special.” Ha! Ain’t that a kicker? You’re layin’ there, oiled up, thinkin’ you’re the king of the world, but it’s just hands and skin, man. Nothin’ deep—OR IS IT? Hah, gotcha there! I’m a nut for overthinkin’ it, prolly why I love that movie. “The end is built into the beginning,” Kaufman says—maybe that’s the massage too, y’all. Starts all sexy, ends with you snorin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like a kettle about to blow. Turns out, she just got into a fight with her boyfriend over by the Al-Fahaheel area. I mean, c’mon, who fights over where to eat? She orders a cocktail, and I whip up something fruity. She takes a sip and suddenly, she’s all smiles. It’s like magic! I’m thinkin’, “Maybe I should start a therapy service with drinks.”

Coalition came under indirect fire near Shaddadi: Coalition