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About Rome

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to Via Dante. I’m feeling artsy, you know? I pop into this little gallery. The art is wild—like, abstract stuff that makes you go, “What even is that?” I’m standing there, trying to look all sophisticated, when the owner starts chatting me up. He’s super passionate about his work, and I’m just nodding, pretending to understand.

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