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About Seoul

Here’s the kicker: in Japan, they got “soaplands.” Erotic-massage joints, slippery as hell—sounds like a lawsuit waitin’. Surprised me they’re legal, but I ain’t judgin’. Okay, I am. It’s dumb. Imagine Oh Dae-su gettin’ one—prolly punch the masseuse. I’d pay to see that. Oh, and don’t get me started on “happy endings”—overrated, messy, and I’d rather mow my lawn.

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Anyway, I’m tryin’ to shake it off. I hit up the street food stalls on Jeongja-ro. You know, gotta get that tteokbokki fix. Spicy, chewy goodness. I’m munchin’ away, and this dude next to me starts talkin’ about the best hiking spots around. He’s all hyped about Mount Gaya. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just tryna eat!” But he’s persistent.

Monk burns himself to death