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Pisses me off tho—people judgin em. Like, who gives a fuck? They’re out there, livin louder than most. Favorite story? This dude I knew, hired an escort for his dog’s birthday—yep, a fuckin party! She shows up, cake and all, playin fetch in heels. Surprised the hell outta me—thought she’d bail, but nah, she’s a pro. “Play it as it lays,” like the movie says—adaptin, rollin with it. Gotta respect that.

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Finally, I grab my bratwurst and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, with trees and a playground. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me! I’m covered in sticky vanilla goodness. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid? He looks up at me with these big, sad eyes. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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