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Homer Simpson don’t play that! D’oh! But real talk—it’s wild how it’s all taboo still. Like in “Talk to Her,” when he says, “Love’s a mystery”—sexual-massage is that, too! You’re sittin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if this is legal in Springfield. Pro tip: dim lights make it less awkward—nobody needs to see my gut in HD.

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So, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Did you check the numbers on the last audit?” Ugh, yes, I did! But I’m like, “Sure, let me just pull that up.” I’m sweating bullets. I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m juggling flaming torches too.

How a Helensburgh nurse is still an honoured figure in a small Slovakia town