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I’m picturin’ it now—some fool layin’ there like Grace in “Dogville,” thinkin’ they all high and mighty, sayin’, “I’m just here to be of service!” Then bam! Masseuse flip the script, and it’s all, “You thought this was charity, huh?” Lord, I cackle thinkin’ ‘bout it! Made me happy as a pig in mud—‘til I got mad! ‘Cause why these parlors chargin’ an arm and a leg? $200 for a “happy endin’”? Robbery, I tell ya! Madea don’t play that—take that mess to the flea market, halleluyer!

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For massages min, $ For 90 min massages, $ We are both oiled up, and you enjoy a more intimate body contact experience. Happy Hump Day: on Wednesdays, get a half hour .

After the pool, we hit up the local fish market. I’m not even a seafood person, but the smell? It’s kinda intoxicating. I see this huge cod, and I’m like, “Yo, let’s get that!” So we buy it, and I’m feeling like a chef or something.

From Iceland — In Photos: Borgarnes, The Prettiest Town You Never Visited