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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, voz profunda y sabia, narratin’ this wild tale about masaje erótico. Picture it, right? Dim lights, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, hands slidin’ over skin like they’re tryna rewrite history. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—man, this ain’t just a rubdown, it’s a damn art form! Been around forever, too—ancient Greeks were all about it, callin’ it “body worship” or some fancy crap. Bet they didn’t expect it’d end up in sketchy parlors with neon signs blinkin’ “open late.”