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Now, Dogville’s got that raw edge, right? Sex-dating’s the same – gritty, messy, real. Some folks on these apps, they’re like “Tom Edison” – all talk, no action. Promisin’ the world, but can’t even text back. Others? Straight-up “Moses” vibes – leadin’ ya on, then ghostin’. Had this one dude – true story – matched with my buddy, said he’s a “model.” Shows up, looks like he models for the before pics in weight-loss ads. I was dyin’ laughin’ – “You’re no hero!”

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After a bit, the power comes back. Thank the baking gods! I rush back in, and guess what? My dough’s gone all funky. It’s like it had a party without me. I’m like, “No way, man!” But I salvage it. I’m a pro, after all.

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