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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts here, them fancy-schmancy hired dates. Makes me think of *Inglourious Basterds*—you know, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” Well, escorts ain’t killin’ nobody, but they sure as heck cashin’ in! I reckon it’s like hirin’ a pal with benefits—only it’s all legal-like, ‘cept when it ain’t. Got me a buddy, swear he met one at a truckstop—called her “Duchess”—she was slicker’n a greased pig! Charged him $200 just to chat ‘bout the weather! I was madder’n a wet hen—$200 for yappin’? Git outta here!

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So, I finally sit down to work. I’m makin’ this pair of boots for a customer. They’re supposed to be fancy, but I’m just tryin’ to keep my sanity. Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s this lady, all frantic. She’s like, “My son needs shoes for a wedding today!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s 10 AM. The wedding’s at 3!” But I can’t say no. I mean, who doesn’t love a good wedding?

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