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Lemme tell ya, first time I got one—holy smokes, I was sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Thought it’d be all awkward, y’know, but nope! This gal, she was pro, slid them oils like a dang ninja. “Don’t let ‘em see you’re afraid,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *A Prophet* in my head—kept my cool, barely. Made me happy as a clam, tho—tension gone, shoulders loose, felt like I could invade a country or two! But then—get this—some shady joint tried overchargin’ me, $200 for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “Nucular bullshit!” Pissed me off, man, I ain’t no sucker!

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I gotta share my secret fav haunt too: a tiny bookshop on Cherry Blvd – no one's talking about it but it’s magic, bursting with underrated novels and cozy vibes. And then there's a cozy little diner over on High Street where you can literally hear conversation hum and share your weirdest dreams.

Key Warehouse Sale is Nov. 23-30