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About Petah Tikva

Oi, mate, fancy a chat? Me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred”—I’m a fisherman now, yeah? Caught meself thinkin’ bout sexual-massage today. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my charm, hands kneadin’ knots outta yer back. It’s bloody brilliant, innit? Like in *Her*, when Theodore says, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel.” That’s me after a good rubdown—floatin’, alive, shaken up proper.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main Ave. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I grab my usual—black coffee, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it on me. I’m like, “Really? I just got here!” I’m soaked, smellin’ like burnt beans. Great start, right?