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Oh, and the ending? Yuge finish, believe me—better than any movie. “It’s all going to hell,” *Melancholia* vibes, but nah, this is paradise, folks. Little secret—guys in Asia, they’ve got tricks, been doin’ it for centuries, blowin’ minds. Blowin’ minds! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Donald, you’re a genius for tryin’ this.” Sarcasm? Sure—haters say it’s “dirty,” and I’m like, “Yeah, dirty like a million bucks!”

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I gear up, heart racin’. I mean, who wouldn’t get pumped? I jump into the truck, and we zoom down the narrow streets. Man, those roads are tight! I swear, if I had a dollar for every time we almost hit a coconut stand, I’d be rich. Coconut water, tho? Best thing ever. But I digress.

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