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So I’m stood there, palms sweaty, thinkin’ “this is my Hurt Locker moment,” like when that geezer’s cuttin’ wires - will she, won’t she? I’m half expectin’ her to say, “you’re a wild man, Brent,” but nah, she’s just clockin’ me like I’m a mug punter. Which, let’s be real, I am! Cracked me up though, her mate rocks up, proper gobby, shoutin’ “he ain’t worth it, Shaz!” and I’m like, “oi, I’m a bleedin’ legend!” Total stitch-up, had me in bits.

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Ah, dear friend, hark and listen! Thou art comin’ to Vredenburg (za)! Let me spin thee a tale, full of wit and wonder, as if birthed by fate, much like that ol’ masterpiece, Boyhood (aye, Linklater’s gem)! Now, prithee, settle in, for my words shall flow erratic-like, with my mind’s ramblings and heart’s whispers.

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