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Me quirks? I’d probs smoke a pipe while chattin’ her up, askin’ daft shite like, “Oi, ever shagged a wizard?” – cos why not, eh? Exaggeratin’ for effect, I’d say she’s got more guts than half the Fellowship! They’re out there, hustlin’, while we’re sippin’ ale. So yeah, prostitutes – dodgy, tough, funny as hell. Respect ‘em, mate, they’re fightin’ battles we don’t even see. “We’ve got no choice but to go on,” like Sadness says – and they bloody do!

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And I’m often nothin’ but amazed. Life here is like reading a magical, chaotic diary; one moment glowing, the next, totally mad. I get often lost in thought – pondering like “What crazy story does that rusted bus tell?” – and then snort-laugh, cuz, well, stories we tell, right?

Sasol’s Secunda plant gets emissions reprieve