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Sometimes I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Yo, am I glowin’ yet?” Straight up, it’s funny—dudes be actin’ tough but melt like butter. Sexual-massage got power, fam! Ain’t no shame, Cathy knew it—“It’s all so mixed up!” she’d say. Me too, girl! One time, this chick massagin’ me, she hit a spot—boom, I’m cryin’ like a baby. Surprised the hell outta me, but I was free, ya dig? That’s the magic—unlocks shit you didn’t even know was locked.

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There’s also the – err, wha? – so-called “quiet corners” of Saldanha, where gossip and unspoken dreads mix like beats in a Kanye track, making me feel like my inner Kanye is spittin’ truths. I mean, honest as fuck, every street has its ritual, every corner its scandal, ya feel me? Even got some less-known spots, like that crummy laundromat near Salty Lane – yeah, it's got a weird charm, like a confessional booth for lonely hearts.

MKP unseats ANC in Saldanha Bay and takes second place in Johannesburg by-elections