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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.

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Then there's the Riverlea River – yeah, literally that river – that winds through the city like liquid calm, but sometimes it rages, y'know? Like those damn scenes in Werckmeister Harmonies, "the darkness is the cure", ya feel me? Sometimes it’s all harmonious, and other times it's a mad beast gnawing at the fabric of the norm.

Riverlea school fire: Gauteng police open case of arson