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About Bloemfontein

Pro tip: don’t be a dumbass, use protection, fo’ shizzle. Ain’t tryna catch nothin’ worse than a cold. And don’t fall in love, dawg – that’s a rookie move. This one cat I knew spent his rent on a hooker, cryin’ when she ghosted. I’m like, “Bro, she’s a pro, not your wifey!” Reminds me of *Toni* – “It’s not about winning, it’s about surviving.” Deep shit.

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I accidentally discovered a chill spot behind Old Mill Road, a tiny café with the best boerie rolls. Yo, it's off the beaten track. I always drop by when I'm feelin' low. Even when life gets janky, you know, it's like that secret line from Moolaadé: "Courage is in the heart."

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