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About Cape Town

So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Definitely don't be anywhere close to downtown after dark, you have high odds to get mugged, yelled at or propositioned for sex. There are.

I gotta mention: sometimes I get mad at the bus drivers on 3rd Avenue – so many delays, man, my apps crash cuz of network errors, or so it feels. Then I'm like, “This is exactly as awful as walking into a vampire nest!” Epic absurdity, yo.

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