Ivy Port Alfred Whore ❤️

About Johannesburg

Lemme tell ya, I was SHOOK – like when Nemo’s daddy, Marlin, thought his boy was gone – when I learned “whore” comes from Old English, “hōre,” meanin’ adulterer or somethin’ nasty. Ain’t that wild? Been ‘round forever, judgin’ folks! I’m over here hollerin’, “Halleluyer, let’s stop actin’ like we perfect!” ‘Cause, baby, we all got a lil’ clownfish chaos in us. This one time, I heard ‘bout a gal in history – some say Mary Magdalene was tagged a whore, but she was just tryna live, y’all! Church folks twisted it up, and I’m mad as a shark in a net ‘bout that. Poor thang didn’t deserve it.

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I run my little spot on Lavender Lane – yep, real deal, not a joke! The smell of salt from the nearby ocean mingles with the aroma from my oils. I often hear folks saying, “it’s like a Fish Tank, you know?” – a nod to my fave flick, Andrea Arnold’s magic. And lemme tell ya, sometimes life here is just that raw and unpredictable.

Sting operation: Eastern Cape beaches shut after visitors stung by bluebottles along shore