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About Cape Town

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Judge Judy, sharp as a tack, and I’m here to dish on prostitutes—don’t pee on my leg and call it rain! So, I’m thinkin’ bout this one hooker I saw downtown, right? Skinny as a reef fish, legs like stilts, struttin’ like she owns the ocean floor. Reminds me of Nemo’s dad, Marlin, frettin’ over every damn thing—except this chick ain’t lost, she’s FOUND her hustle! “Just keep swimming,” she prolly mutters, dodgin’ cops and creeps. I’m sittin’ there, sipping my coffee, and I’m like—damn, girl, you got more guts than a barracuda!

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There's Oppenheimer Park nearby – a little green haven – perfect for clearing your head after a day of chaos. Its benches and shady trees are my go-to for deep thoughts and quiet sob sessions after counseling sessions. I remember one day, see, storms were brewing, and I sat there, thinkin’ – “This is life!” (Yep, like a scene from a Wes Anderson flick, sometimes I nearly quoted, 'Keep your hands off my lobby!') Unforgettable, right?

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