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About Johannesburg

So, I’m dodgin’ them redcoats—er, coppers—down some grimy alley. Smells like rum an’ regret, an’ I’m thinkin’, “Why’d I leave me ship fer this?” Then, bam! There she be—red lips, eyes sharp as a cutlass. “You’re a rare one, ain’t ya?” I says, tippin’ me hat. She smirks, all sly-like, an’ I’m hooked, savvy? Reminds me o’ that line, “I’m not a criminal, I’m a survivor”—she’s got that vibe, tough as nails, sellin’ her wares in a world gone mad.

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Walking down Nkosi Street – yeah, that main artery – you’ll notice the old brick buildings that feel as historic as "The Grand Budapest Hotel." I swear, every corner has a story, like the time Ms. Dudu burst into my office (trust me, she was mad, but hey, that's life!). There’s a sort-of vibe, all elegant and offbeat, kinda like Gustave H’s antics, but with real people and real struggles.

Con man of bogus billionaire scheme sentenced by Free State court