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About Pretoria

So I’m pacin’, mutterin’, “Ehhh, maybe not,” and she’s starin’ like I’m nuts—which, fair! I’m thinkin’ *Brooklyn* again—“The life I might have had!”—and I’m like, “Yeah, not this one!” I’m happy I didn’t trip over my own feet, though—small victories. Surprised me how chill she was, too—like, “Buddy, decide already!” I’m exaggeratin’, sure, but I felt like a schmuck. Total schmuck. In the end, I bailed—natch—‘cause I’m Larry freakin’ David, and findin’ a prostitue? Too much hassle! Pretty, pretty good call, if ya ask me.

Where are all the women seeking men in Midrand?

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Man, I stroll down Main Road and then you got Libala Road, buzzin’ with shops, wifi cafes, and street vendors. There's some cool joints you might not even see in regular travel guides. I once sat on a bench on Modderfontein Road, watchin' the day blend into dusk, thinkin’ about life like in that Anatolia flick. The sky turned all dramatic, like art – just like life, really.

Anti-kidnapping task team rescues two businessmen in Midrand