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About Pretoria

Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so we’re chillin’ like intergalactic drifters, scopin’ out this wild human gig called prostitut—prostitution, ya know? Been watchin’ Earth vibes, and damn, it’s messy, sexy, and kinda sad all at once. Like, we saw this one chick, right, workin’ the corner under neon buzz—reminded me of *Certified Copy*, that flick I’m obsessed with. “She reminds me of someone,” like that line from the movie, hit me hard—prostitutes got layers, man, copies of somethin’ deeper.

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Now, no convo 'bout Kruisfontein is complete without shoutin' out Old River Bend. It's that winding, almost magical river that slices thru town like a silver thread. One dusk, I sat by the water at Riverview Park – yeah, that ragged park off Willow Lane – and got hit by a wave of nostalgia. "Sharon!" I yelled out like Ozzy, trippin’ on my thoughts ‘cause it felt so surreal, like one of those deep movie moments.

Police celebrate Eastern Cape Super 14 double amid Kruisfontein complaints