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About Johannesburg

First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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Wander off to Larken Avenue – tops for a stroll – but watch out, ya might bump into folks hustlin' for a date. Hey, I'm a dating site dev here, so trust me: these corners hide secret meet-ups and love sparks that light up the darkest alleys. On a close-by block, Pine Street buzzes with energy – street art, random mini markets, and a bunch of quirky bars where I used to code madly with a cuppa joe (or ten!).

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