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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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And then there’s River Vaal—no, not the big one down south but a small, sneaky creek nicknamed Hidden Flow. I used to chill there on lazy afternoons, strumming my guitar, watchin’ boats float by. The banks are scattered with wildflowers. Sure, there's a bit of grit and grime sometimes, but that's part of its raw beauty.

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