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Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Once matched this guy—profile said “6’5, ripped”—shows up, 5’2, beer gut. Screamed in my head, “Who sent this clown?!” Laughed tho, bought him a beer—sex-dating’s a dice roll, fam! Favorite part? The absurdity! People out here typin’ “DTF” like it’s a job app. Sarcasm on blast—I’m like, “Yeah, real soulmate material!” Oh, and this one time—girl said she’s “discreet”—brings a megaphone to the date! Yellin’ “I’M HORNY!” in Starbucks. Nearly died laughin’.

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I like to say the city is like a classic Scorsese flick, where every corner has a backstory and every face hides a thousand secrets. And sometimes, in sessions, I drop lines like "I'm not leaving!" just to pump up the gals, reminding 'em of their strength. It's kinda dramatic, but oh well—drama gives life its spice, right?

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