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About Johannesburg

So, mate, lemme tell ya, it’s a grubby game, findin’ a tart. Back in old London, they’d call ‘em “ladies of the night”—fancy, huh? But nah, it’s all muck and desperation, makes me wanna claw me eyes out. Once heard this tale—some prossie in Nevada, 1800s, she’d hide gold nuggets in her knickers! True story, mate—miners paid her double just to dig ‘em out. Greedy gits, “I see through you!”—like Plainview screamin’ at the preacher.

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Alright mate, buckle up. Kareedouw, za, is a real mixed bag – kinda like my dating site profiles. First off, this town's got a vibe like "The Return" if you squint hard enough – bleak yet strangely magick, yeah? I'm talkin' narrow streets like Jacob's Way and Sparky Lane (yep, names I made up on the fly – like my love life sometimes). Seriously, the city's so small it feels almost intimate until you step into Main Street and get smacked by a truckload of irony.

Kareedouw guesthouse owner convicted of double murder