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About Pretoria

Heya, dude! So, like, brothel? Whoa, crazy stuff! Me, Patrick Star, mountain guide, right? I seen some wild things up there, but brothel? That’s a whole ‘nother peak! Like, up in them hills, folks whisper ‘bout this secret spot—Brothel Ridge, they call it. Ain’t on no map, nah, but locals know. Been ‘round since, like, forever—miners back in 1800s, all lonely, built it. Little shack, creaky floors, red curtains—super sketchy, right? I’m thinkin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause, dude, who even thinks this stuff up?

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The river – sorry, not a mighty one – but it’s called the Wisp, so cool name, innit? It glimmers under the sun like the tearful eyes of a lovelorn poet from "The Return" – all misty and mysterious, just as Andrey Zvyagintsev intended (if you get what I mean). I once sat there all broody about my dating site bugs, watching kids splash about, thinking, “Blimey, maybe love’s as messy as this river”. And honestly, it usually is.

Guest house owner awaits judgment in gas geyser double death case