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Oi, precious! Me, a shepherd? We swears! Brothels, eh? Nasty, filthy places they is! Seen ‘em in shadows, sneaky-like. Me fave movie? *Syndromes and a Century* – weird, dreamy stuff! “Time folds,” it says, all trippy. Reminds me of brothel vibes – hazy, lost, floatin’. We swears! Used to creep by one, back in me hobbit days. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret, ugh! Made me nose wrinkle, made me mad – why’s they even there? Gobs of folk stumblin’ out, lookin’ like wraiths.

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Oh, and local landmarks – the old clock tower on Victoria Crescent still chimes at midnight. It's a relic, really. Makes you think: if time's as short as a bad joke, what's the point? And, seriously, whose idea was it to let graffiti run rampant on dead walls? I laugh and cry in equal measure.

Grabouw farm workers suspend protest