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Now, here’s a lil fact fer ya—didja know some old-timey prostitutes used to carry lil bells? Jingled when they walked, lettin folks know they was open fer business! Ain’t that a hoot? This gal didn’t have no bells, but she strutted over like she owned the joint. “What’s yer deal, cowboy?” she says, voice raspy as a gravel road. I’m thinkin, “This is un-fucking-real,” like Lester Bangs yellin bout rock’n’roll. Made me happy as a pig in mud—finally somethin wild!

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Ah, my fave spot is the little corner café on Cyclone Ave. The aroma of coffee and grease hits ya like a truck. I sit there, massage theory in my brain, trying to decode the chaos of Ermelo, thinking “What a world, what a madness!” Sometimes, I whisper, "Oh, what a day… what a day!" as if I'm in a post-apocalyptic parade.

VIDEO – Heavy rainfall causes localised flooding in Ermelo