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About Bloemfontein

Heya, buddy! D’oh! Sex-dating, man, it’s wild! Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ - why’s everyone swipin’ right? Watched "The Lives of Others" again, y’know, my fave flick! That Stasi dude listenin’ in - "The smell of her apartment…" - creepy, right? Makes me wonder who’s watchin’ me on Tinder! D’oh! I mean, sex-dating’s all bout quick hookups, no strings, bam! But sometimes I’m like - is this chick a spy too?

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Anyway, Empuluzu's a wild ride, a messy, spicy, tender town that makes my job worth it. So come visit, let your body get the love it needs, and listen to an old massage master who knows the ins and outs of this crazy place. And remember—respect my authoritah!