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About Johannesburg

We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

Biodiversity Heritage Library

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There's this hidden gem, Riverside Park on Beacon Way. Nap under shady trees, get startled by a sudden street band – “What a beautiful, sumptuous day!” I'd say it’s my fav chill spot. I even raced a pigeon or two there in my head, haha, pure mad fun. Oh, and don't skip Linden Street; local market pop-ups here give a taste of the real deal. Even if a vendor goes off on a tangent, its spontaneity sparkles.

Cala completes land acquisition in Cathcart