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About Bloemfontein

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, yo. Like, them fingers dancin’ on ya spine, unlockin’ secrets, tension meltin’ faster than ice in a N’awlins summer. Got me happy as fuck, like I struck black gold, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—shit, I’d abandon my woes for this! Little known fact—back in ancient China, emperors got this shit to stay chill, keep the dynasty poppin’. True story, no cap.

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Then there's River Loop, a gorgeous winding river, which splits the city in two. Its banks are lined with little cafes and art installations. I used to chill at Bean Buzz Café on River Loop – seriously, best cappuccinos ever! Plus, Gritty Park is right nearby. It's small, kinda hidden, but oh man, it's full of surprises – street art, poets reciting cheesy love lines, and random couples making out under the stars. Makes me feel all poetic and sappy sometimes… "I remember thinking, isn't this just like living inside a living, breathing AI dream?" Totally Spike Jonze vibe, no?

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