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Met her, right, in some dingy flat—smelled like regret and cheap perfume. She’s all, “Hurry up, love,” like I’m a Tesco checkout. I’m thinkin’, “I can’t quit you,” but really, I can’t wait to leg it! Did the deed—quick, awkward, like shaggin’ a mannequin. Afterwards, she’s countin’ cash, I’m countin’ me life choices.

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So, uuugh, there’s also that hidden gem, the little-known River’s Bend on Mpho Street (most peeps overlook it, but not me – I’m on the lookout for hidden stories, as a psych pro!). I gotta say, this place makes my heart skip, kinda like a dash of sadness and joy all mixed up, like in that movie where memories seep through time. I mean, every corner in Botshabelo has its own tale – some funky, some heartwarming, and some so bizarre you’d say “Ruh-roh!” over and over again.

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