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Still, we hates it, the whole game. Stinks worse than Mordor’s bogs. Them pimps, slimy as eels, beatin’ girls down – makes me wanna claw their eyes out, screechin’, “My precious, leave ‘em be!” An’ the punters, ugh, sweaty gits, thinkin’ they’re kings. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d torch the lot if I could, watch ‘em burn like Sauron’s tower!

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Oh, and, um, I can’t forget the riverside at Miller's Bend. Literally, it's the chillest spot ever! A hidden nook where you can sit and, like, let your mind wander, dropping all your emotional baggage. So many times I sat there, tear in my eye, thinking, “I’m a family psychologist, but even I need a break, right?” It was messy, raw, and so real, like a scene from the movie—intense and poetic.

Accountant arrested after R1. 5m stolen from Barberton mine